Mindfulness Defined: 
Simply put, mindfulness is about noticing and becoming aware of the present moment, in a non-judgmental way.   The hardest part of this process is avoiding the judgement.  We have built up so many layers of judgement in so many things that we do, we no longer notice that we are judging. Children typically do not judge; they experience life as it comes at them.  

Challenge:
Let’s try it. Right now... Take a moment to sit back. Notice what’s around you. What do you see? Hear? Smell? Touch? Taste? How do your surroundings feel to you? If you are saying, “Well I think…” Try to drop the “think” and simply finish the statement, “I feel….” whatever?

Kids are great at this first challenge. If you place food on their plate that they do not like, they will get a disgusted look on their face and comment, “Yuck, I hate it, take it off my plate.” Our tendency as parents is to become frustrated with them. Adults will attempt to discuss all of the thoughtful reasons why they should eat the food that is on their plate, such as:

• “It is healthy for you”   
• “You need energy for school” 
• “You have to watch your weight”   

And as is typically the case, the foods that kids reject are commonly vegetables or whole grains. We judge their eating, based upon our thoughts of what is a “healthy diet.” They are simply enjoying the moment.  

​Does your adolescent’s eating behavior, weight, or exercise ever appear abnormal to you? Do they seem preoccupied with their physical appearance? Have you considered asking them about it, but weren’t sure how to approach them? Not all eating patterns or behaviors would constitute an eating disorder diagnosis; however, disordered eating patterns and behaviors are real, require careful consideration, and can have serious health implications.
 
Trust Your Intuition:
Eating disorders are often disguised in ways that minimize their significance. At times they can be difficult to assess and are often overlooked by adults. If your intuition as a parent tells you something might be “off,” with your child’s eating, listen to it, and consult a professional for guidance. It’s okay to be unsure about what you have noticed.  Speaking with a mental health professional who has experience in this area can help you develop language that will allow you to express your intuitions to your child in a clear and supportive way. 
 
Eating Disorders can be Deadly: 
The prevalence of adolescent eating disorders has gained significant attention in the mental health field over the last decade. Some researchers have claimed anorexia nervosa has the highest mortality rate of all psychological disorders (NEDA, 2018). 
 
See: https://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org
for more information.
 
How does it Start?
Many parents ask, “How did this start? Why and when did my child become so obsessed with what they’re eating?”
            
Studies offer arguments for why and how eating disorders are developed and maintained. In 2016, a team of researchers examined risk factors they believed to predict onset of eating disorders in adolescent females.  According to their study, adolescent females were most at risk to develop eating disorders if they dieted, idealized thinness, had body dissatisfaction, and displayed unhealthy weight control behaviors (Stice et al., 2016).
 
Despite research supporting specific reasons for ED development and maintenance, it can be argued such reasons are multifactorial;there isn’t one single reason eating disorders begin or are maintained. Eating disorders may also function as a form of self-punishment, manifestation of anxiety, or addiction—with little to no emphasis on weight loss as a central goal.
 
Sensory Integration Issues:  
Not all eating disorders develop from preoccupation with fear of weight gain. Aversion to texture, fear of choking, fear of swallowing, etc., can also develop into ED (see Avoidant Restrictive Food Intake Disorder, DSM-5 criteria that are listed below). 
·       An eating or feeding disturbance (e.g., apparent lack of interest in eating or food; avoidance based on the sensory characteristics of food; concern about aversive consequences of eating) as manifested by persistent failure to meet appropriate nutritional and/or energy needs associated with one (or more) of the following:     

• Significant weight loss (or failure to achieve expected weight gain or faltering growth in children).
• Significant nutritional deficiency.
• Dependence on enteral feeding or oral nutritional supplements.
• Marked interference with psychosocial functioning.

See:
https://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/learn/by-eating-disorder/arfid
 
Many children who struggle with sensory integration disorders have difficulties with their eating, due to their reactivity to strong odors/tastes and certain textures of food. Their eating issues can often be compounded by the presence of muscular weaknesses in their mouth, tongue, and throat that impair their ability to swallow food.
 
One researcher stated…
“Often when kids display picky eating, especially those with food aversions/extreme picky eating, the touch, taste, or smell of a food is being processed in their brain as dis-pleasurable in some way.  And, by dis-pleasurable, I mean down-right uncomfortable.  Think of something that makes you shutter… nails on chalkboard or touching a slug?” (Grogan, 2018) 
 
See: https://yourkidstable.com/sensory-processing-and-picky-eating/
 
What about Boys?
According to the National Eating Disorders Association (NEDA), approximately 0.3 – 0.4% of young women and 0.1% of young men will suffer from anorexia nervosa. Despite the common assumption eating disorders are exclusive to women, NEDA claims 25% of individuals with anorexia nervosa are male. Additionally, NEDA claims disordered eating behaviors (binge-eating, purging, laxative abuse, fasting) are nearly equal across male/female genders. For example, many boys who wrestle in high school manage their calories and exercise level so they can “cut weight” before a wrestling match. Additionally, dehydration can cause poorer performance in these athletes and places them at risk for more serious health concerns. 

See: http://pediatrics.aappublications.org/content/140/3/e20171871

Regardless of the severity of source of the ED, the way you communicate about this with your child matters!
 
Researchers in 2011 conducted a study addressing the relationship between adolescent disordered eating and parent-child communication dynamics. The researchers concluded individuals’ thoughts of defectiveness, failure, and unrelenting standards from their parents contributed to their eating disorder. Findings suggest “perfectionistic language” is a common trait shared between parents and adolescents with disordered eating (Deas et al., 2011). “Perfectionistic language,” looks different within each family. 
 
Do NOT:
 

• Make critical comments about your child’s physical appearance.
• Encourage your child to “watch their weight,” or warn them of gaining weight.
• Praise your child for appearing as if they lost weight.

• Make negative comments about your own appearance/weight in front of your child.

            
Parents are encouraged to alter their communication style in ways that may discourage the onset or maintenance of an eating disorder. 
 
Do try to:
 

• Praise your child based upon their achievements to enhance their self-esteem
• Encourage healthy eating without rigidity; everything in moderation!
• Work hard to make your child feel their weight/physical appearance is not everything. Instead, try to focus on their uniqueness in ways that will strengthen their mental health.
• Consult with professionals about rising concerns, so you can feel equipped with positive and effective language to use with your child

 
Try not to forget:
It is your child, so it’s up to you.-Notice, listen, and speak up.


References:
Deas, S., Power, K., Collin, P., Yellowlees, A., & Grierson, D. (2011). The relationship between disordered eating, perceived parenting, and perfectionistic schemas. Cognitive Therapy And Research, 35(5), 414-424. 

Stice, E., Gau, J. M., Rohde, P., & Shaw, H. (2017). Risk factors that predict future onset of each DSM-5 eating disorder: Predictive specificity in high-risk adolescent females. Journal Of Abnormal Psychology, 126(1), 38–51. 

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

The habits we develop early in life are likely to stick with us throughout our lifespan. This is why it’s important to teach our children right from wrong, daily life skills, appropriate ways to socialize, and a multitude of other skills to help encourage our children to develop healthy adult habits. One skill that tends to get overlooked in families is healthy nutrition habits. Often, when our children are younger, our main goal is to encourage them to eat anything, rather than focusing on the timing and quality of their meals. This is an injustice to our children in various ways. Not only are we neglecting to establish healthy eating patterns in terms of choosing and enjoying healthy foods, but we are also neglecting to teach our children appropriate structure and patterns regarding their eating. Parents can only control what is going on in their home not their neighbor’s homes, therefore, it’s important to model and set these patterns in a realistic way. The end goal is to allow children to generalize these patterns to additional settings without the help of their parents. 

Introduction to Healthy Foods:
 
Let’s start with their introduction to healthy foods. It is important to remember that we develop the majority of our interests at a young age. This is why parents tend to introduce children to certain sports, activities and books during childhood. The same concept is applicable for food. If parents introduce fruits, vegetables, proteins and grains at a young age, these foods become “normal” and we develop a pattern of enjoyment and acceptance of these foods.
Younger children learn the majority of habits through watching others; this process is referred to as social learning. This means that children are constantly watching parents and other adults in order to develop a framework for how to live in the world around them. Therefore, if parents are modeling healthy eating habits, children are likely to follow suit.

Sometimes parents are unaware of how closely children scrutinize their eating habits as well as the food s that they eat. There are other options available to model healthy eating habits such as taking your children to the grocery store with you, exploring and learning about new and healthy foods and how to incorporate certain nutrients into your meals, and learning to cook to make meals fun and part of a creative process..

On the other hand, if parents choose to place sugar and various junk foods completely off limits, their children may learn to crave these foods and overindulge in them, i.e., binging on them. They become taboo. Sometimes the pendulum swings too far and extremes aren’t usually realistic to incorporate into everyday life. This is why the concept of balance is most important to healthy eating which is often the case in most other areas of life.
​
Vocabulary is important. Parents should help children understand which foods are healthy “go-to foods,” and those that are considered “snacks.” An active dialogue and ongoing information opportunities builds a child’s knowledge-base of healthy eating.  Micromanaging and controlling everything your child eats is simply not okay and is likely to prompt them to build up a sense of resentment and anger. Over time once they have learned realistic and balanced ways to incorporate all foods into their diets, they are less likely to overindulge when left alone. In essence they have incorporated your values around food, and in the end that is what most parents want their kids to do. 

How Nutrition Affects Mental Health:
 
So, how does healthy nutrition affect our mental health? There are lots of ways nutrition affects our mental health, specifically relating to the way nutrition can affect our brain. Certain nutrients, or lack of nutrients, can either help or hinder the way our brain is working in terms of our energy and our mental capacity to focus.
 

• Lack of fiber can decrease focus at school by reducing concentration
• Sugar intake can cause drastic spikes and lows in energy and mood
• Tryptophan can increase serotonin, promoting calmness and happiness
• Lack of B vitamins (folic acid, B12) can increase depression and anxiety
• Protein helps with increased alertness, energy and reaction time
• Omega-3 fatty acids can help increase overall mood regulation
• Caffeinated beverages suppress serotonin and cause dehydration, which can lead to depression and irritability, they also limit the ability to sleep causing increased stress and anxiety and susceptibility to illness as the immune system is suppressed.

 
Therefore, if we aren’t getting adequate nutrients we can feel lethargic, depressed, anxious or easily agitated. Alternatively, if we are getting the proper nutrients throughout the day we are likely to feel energized, motivated and calm. All of these symptoms can be amplified for the better or worse once they are combined with life’s many ups and downs.

Structure and Routine:

​The next important aspect of nutrition is structure and pattern. Life is hectic and for most parents it is difficult to have structured meals on a daily basis. Sometimes parents squeeze in a meal whenever people are home or in between activities.

​Developing unhealthy eating patterns teach children that eating is not a priority, nor does it require a lot of attention. Under such conditions children learn to avoid planning meals and eating them at set times during the day. As they mature, children can become adults who value nutrition and consistency and appreciate the impact of their nutritional choices on their energy levels and overall health.

Nutrition Labels and Meal Pacing:

One area of detail that many parents forget is the simple process of modelling how to read nutrition labels in the grocery store. By doing so, we can teach our children how the many details associated with healthy nutrition are easily identified by a quick look. Research has shown that awareness of the overall number of calories in a given food portion can impact a child’s decision to eat it if he/she is aware of how much effort it would take to burn off those calories by walking, running, or biking.
​
Be sure to role-model how to eat a meal at a reasonable pace. Enjoy that first portion of food, relax and chat a bit while eating, and then ask yourself, “Am I still hungry?’ If the answer is yes, then it is okay to have another portion. Remember it takes our stomach about 20 minutes to tell our brain we are full. When we are eating too quickly, we don’t realize we are full until it is too late, therefore, causing overeating. One piece of advice to address this issue at meal time would be to have kids start eating their meal, then introduce a topic for discussion to slow down the eating process. Questions about the school day, a news event, or “high-lows” of the day are generally helpful. After a conversation you can ask your child if he she is still hungry? 

​The Mindful Meal:
 
Every parent has heard the term “Mindfulness,” but have often been confused about how to apply this concept to life-events.  A main component of anxiety reduction treatment is “mindfulness” work. This treatment modality speaks to the notion that as a society we are constantly multitasking and not fully immersing ourselves into what we are doing at any given moment, thus, overwhelming our minds and leading to anxiety and stress.
 
A portion of mindfulness work incorporates mindful eating.  As a family, it is important to strive for “The Mindful Meal”. This involves setting aside planned time and concentrating on just the action of eating our meals, without the distraction of any other tasks. Mindful eating also incorporates the five senses; smell, taste, sound, touch and sight. These can all be incorporated by using them as a framework for a discussion around the meal such as:

• “How does the food taste?”
• “How does the food feel in your body?”
• “What about the food’s color do you find appealing?”
• “How does the color add to the nutrition of what you are eating?
•  “What colors are you noticing in this meal that contributes to certain nutrients?”
• “How does this meal smell compared to others?,”
• “What nutrients do you think are contributing to that smell?”
• "Did you hear that food crackle when it was in the wok."

 
All of these concepts of mindful eating help train our minds and bodies to be present and calm. When your children and your family is more stress free, you are able to talk amongst yourselves about other things, thus facilitating healthy meals times and healthy discussion within the family.